BP Cares about the small people

Posted by Investing Freak on June 17, 2010
Market Analysis

As you might have figured out by now, BP plc (ADR) Chairman and the CEO met with President Obama ONLY two months after the oil spill disaster.
Of course as I mentioned in the previous post BP now stands for Bad Publicity so nothing was unexpected on my end when the Chairman said: “I hear comments sometimes that large oil companies are greedy companies or don’t care, but that is not the case with BP. We care about the small people.”   Bad publicity this time will cause BP to buy google ads for keywords such as petite, small, midgets, oompa loompa.  They needed a leprechaun to give them some lucky charms but now they insulted the small guy.

Did you hear that? BP cares about you so much that if you are in the Gulf of Mexico and for the next century your fishing or tourism business is doomed.. BP has put together $20 billion dollar fund for your damage It is truly truly truly sorry. Oh and If you weren’t affected by BP but are part of US pension funds – including Calpers, the Teacher Retirement System of Texas and Ohio Public Employees Retirement System then BP is truly truly truly sorry for you as well because the 12% dividend yield that you saw a few days ago will be reduced to 0% so they can spread that wealth to the victims.  You can enjoy your -50% gain in BP stock now.

But wait I forgot to mention one benefit of this disaster. BP has hired cleanup workers to clean things up and this good news for the people of the Gulf.  Hey you just got promoted from fisherman to fish rescuer, Congrats!!  Just sign here on the dotted line ………..   and just make sure to not get sea sick from the delicious fumes because your complaints and health information will never be part of BP’s record.

BP attempted to deny and conceal links of its oil spill to illnesses, after initial reports of oil cleanup workers who were getting sick due to extended exposure to oil and dispersants. Fishermen have complained of “severe headaches, dizziness, nausea and difficulty breathing” after working to clean up the spill, and one said BP did not provide protective equipment. But BP CEO Tony Hayward brushed off illness concerns, suggesting “food poisoning” might have been the culprit.

Although Louisiana state records indicate that at least 74 oil spill workers have complained of becoming sick after exposure to pollutants, BP’s own official recordkeeping notes just two such incidents.

You all should feel sorry for BP Because it will take anywhere from 100 days to 365 days for BP to make back the $20 billion in profit while the victims sit at home and receive checks.
Ok fine that’s less than a year’s worth of profits… But this is just a fund for economic damage, and won’t protect it against all sorts of other legal costs. According to NYT legal costs and criminal fees could hit at least $63 billion.   WHOOPS!    Hey NYSE:BP stock… you will be missed when you hit $19 but on the bright side! You’ll be a teenager again full of energy (pun intended) !

And now for a mini change of subject.  Senate has now accepted an expanded Fed audit. The House proposal allows repeated future audits of discount window and open market transactions, whereas the Senate proposal had only allowed a one-time audit. Of course this is just a grain of salt and even when it’s passed it might be years before we see any audits.

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